Ann's Bandwidth-Wasting Absurd Esoteric Microcosm Personality Test

100% celebrity-free...no famous people were harmed in the making of this test or the result graphics. Isn't that a shame?

Click the X by the choice that corresponds closest to your answer.

Gimme the test, dagnabbit!


You are a creative artist, writer, philosophical contemplator and mad genius, but to earn your living in this world, you work as a:

X Design Slave
X Cook
X Exterminator
X Dishwasher
X Why work a day job?...food just falls from the sky for me.


Your hair is:

X long
X really, really long
X short
X really, really short
X hair?


To relax you like to:

X watch movies
X read
X lie around on the bed
X lie around on the couch
X go for a swim


You're named after:

X Some saint
X Some person
X A famous artist or philosopher
X Some Roman or Greek goddess or ruler
X Some fat politician


You find yourself frequently fantasizing about:

X Rock Musicians
X Becoming a famous author
X Things beyond my world
X Food
X I rarely fantasize


Assuming you can't play any instrument, if you were to join a rock band, they would want you because you

X Can write good lyrics
X Look good without a shirt
X Look pretty and sing
X Look cool, tough and snarl
X I am so not into that


I have nightmares about

X Being left out or falling behind
X Being chased by fascists
X Getting attacked by vicious animals
X Falling down a flight of stairs
X Fish


Do you have toys?

X Only a few
X Not many at all
X I've lost all my toys or my siblings ruined them
X I have lots of toys!
X Who needs toys?


Dining Habits

X Eating while preparing for others
X Whatever I can grab out of the fridge
X Anything I can catch on the run
X I'll eat anything anytime
X Anything that someone else prepares for me


Forbidden Foods

X Pork
X Beef
X Leafy Vegetables
X Chocolate
X Anything too advanced in the reincarnation cycles


Stress response

X Yell, scream and cuss
X Break something
X Run and hide
X Put something in my mouth (i.e., gum, tobacco, food)
X Blend in with environment and pretend to be invisible


Your teeth...

X Were corrected by braces
X Are naturally movie star straight
X Have canines that are too long
X Are crooked or missing
X Are all gone


Describe your nose:

X distinguished
X big
X endearing
X small
X barely there

Ok, now here's the fun part! Figure out which of the colored shapes in the box below you have the most of...

...and then click on the corresponding answer below to determine your extremely scientific test results!

 I have the most red circles  I have the most orange stars
 I have the most lime triangles  I have the most blue squares
 I have the most lavendar diamonds I have a tie!


OK, no big whoop...just go take the test again and select your *2nd choice* answers...kind of a rinse and repeat thing...(If you've already fogotten what your first answers were, don't worry about it)

This is simply a case of the little guy making fun of famous people personality tests...I mean, how much do we REALLY know what celebrities are REALLY like and how we are like them?

And I just wanted to make a test with cool result graphics you can paste on your page. Is that too much to ask?

All graphics and text copyright ©2002 Ann Stretton.