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ornamental

ILLNESS

Saturday, May 27, 2006

DREAM: Murderous Dog Owner

I had a little puppy that I think was a Boston Terrier. It was very small, and I realized I had had it a few days and still hadn't taken it to the vet for its first check-up. Then Stan and I were driving near what appeared to be State Street, buch much more run down with more junkies and tweakers. I had the puppy on my lap in the car. This area had herds of college students who crossed in front of cars (just like the real State Street). We were on some side street or alley trying to cross the road and there were a couple of young female students who just wouldn't budge in front of our car. Stan put on his brakes, almost hitting one of them, but her friend put her arm out to stop her from walking into our car. They stared at us and we stared back. Then they acted really incensed that we were trying to cross the road, and then they started making fun of us and pointed at me and said "she looks deformed." I had had it with these idiots, so I give the puppy to Stan and told him to hold it, that I had to take care of something. Somehow I got ahold of a knife, and I stabbed one or both of these girls, killing them. I was pretty nonchallant about it, despite what I had done. I guess I didn't care. Stan then left the car with the puppy and we headed on foot to a nearby basement apartment where we supposedly lived. It was quite a hovel. I was holding the puppy again, and it was morphing by the minute from a Boston Terrier to a light brown/cream colored rat. Its eyes were watery and it was acting weak. I stroked its fur and noticed it had flea bites. I also noticed it had a sore on the top of its head and water was coming out of it. I remembered I hadn't pottied or fed it for a while, but didn't know where to take it to potty since it was all concrete all around us. I was worried that the thing was going to die.

Posted by Ann on 05/27/06@10:23 AM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

Friday, May 26, 2006

New Corpse

Bacon Burnt Venus Flares Full of Into the Fire

Posted by Ann on 05/26/06@10:12 AM CST ..::Link::..A Whisper Inside.

DREAM: Sex Change Plato

I dreamt Plato was having puppies (Plato is our neutered male Boston Terrier). I don't know if he actually popped any, but I was looking at him and it was very disturbing because it was as if the placenta was on the outside of his body, but it wasn't all bloody and mucousy and gross, it was fur-covered...I can't really explain this too well...and it was hanging from his nether regions. I could see the puppies through the placenta, but they didn't look like pups, they looked like rodents. Cute rodents, though.

Posted by Ann on 05/26/06@09:46 AM CST ..::Link::..A Whisper Inside.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Parody Blog

I'm not sure what to think. Recently I've taken notice of a lot of parody blogs, usually blogs written by what I suspect to be a liberal-leaning individual with sharp wit and a good sense of satire (not to mention good spelling and design sense), lampooning the ideology of the far religious right. (I'm not providing links, but if you're curious, just ask me and I'll send you some) At first read, you're offended by the racist sentiments and Limbaugh-lingo and repulsed by the over-the-top religious zealotry...until you realize it's just SO over-the-top that it's a fake, a parody blog, a blog made to look like a real blog in the way The Onion is made to look like a real tabloid, except with more passion than the droll Onion ever had. Although, if Warren Jeffs had a blog, I'm not sure I wouldn't think it too was a parody blog, being that it would be way beyond over-the-top.

One of the problem with some of these blogs is that they're just too well done, technically, as in, done by design professionals. And y'all know that them dee-zyne profeshunals got edumicated in one a them thar librul arts schools which are run by e-mmoral homosexhwuls and commies, so I reckon a real bona fide right wing zealot wouldn'ta be caught dead gettin' edimicated in a place like that, y'all. OK, that was a just a taste of what some of these parody blogs sound like, complete with hillbilly twang.

See, I have a place in my heart for the parody blog, being that made-up people have a long history with Stan and me. At the risk of sounding redundant, our own "fake person," Terry Mattheson, has been with us since the early 80s, turning in generic art history papers, turning in a fake application for a teaching assistant in graduate school complete with fake resume and fake slides of fake art. Terry even had a very short-lived stint with his own web page back in '96 when I was learning how to make web pages.

But then it gets back to the whole cult of irony that we seem to live in, where nothing is real and everything is ironic. And sometimes I just get so sick of ironic. Sometimes I just want real.

At times I would love to resuscitate Terry and give him/her his/her own blog where he/she writes about his/her various semesters abroad, relatives' weddings in the Hamptons, vacations in the Poconos (Terry hails from Chatapeaqua, NY, a fake place), being a ski instructor to other wealthy students in Vail, and the adventures of professor asskissing, something our Terry was well known for (and modelled after real students we knew). Of course those are things I know nothing about, so the challenge would be a bit difficult and forced. Not to mention time. Seems like the older you get, the less time you have for these things, and the more you value your time spent on the "real". There's so much I need to do with my own sites, let alone work on Terry!

I do enjoy the parody blogs for a bit of a giggle. I hear the voices the fake people speak and they sound like the fake voices and accents that Stan and I do with eachother sometimes. Sometimes I enjoy them for all the layers of deception. First glance, it's a right winger. Second glance, it's someone making fun of a right-winger. Third glance, it might just possibly be a right winger pretending to be a left-winger making fun of what they think a left-winger's idea of what a right-winger is. Then there's the comments...people commenting on their entries and telling them what truly horrible, biggoted, despicable people they are. Obviously, the commenting reader hasn't picked up on the blatant absurdities and doesn't realize it's a parody. It is amusing.

But I have a suggestion for the authors of these blogs if they really want to fool people into thinking their characters are real: Unlearn it all. Unlearn your immaculate spelling, your perfect grammar, your good punctuation. Discard your design skills. Reject your html abilities. It's wrapped up in a slick package. Put more bad graphics of magnetic ribbon "support our troops" on your pages. Put more Jesus fish on your pages. Put little angels and badly done red white and blue eagle graphics. I know, aesthetically it really hurts, and it goes counter to your good-design intuition, but the frame has to blend better with the art.

Posted by Ann on 05/25/06@12:53 PM CST ..::Link::..5 Screamers.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Pink Floyd Germany 1971

OK, not funny like Lawrence Welk meets the Velvet Underground from a couple days ago, but the scene in the beginning with the women in the choir for Atom Heart Mother is amusing. A bit annoying due to the loud German voice-overs (you're unable to hear what Roger, Rick or Nick are saying), and not much actual music, but nonetheless a good little snippet in three parts for those dying for *anything* we haven't seen before.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Posted by Ann on 05/24/06@01:17 PM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

Package Deal

Once I was talking to a woman who was a mucketymuck in the local art scene. Somehow the topic got on a couple of artists who were married at the time. She was saying how she didn't think the male artist was a good artist, despite him having won awards, or maybe she thought that his works were derivative, blah blah blah, I forgot what it was she said, but she definitely didn't like his art. The female, however, she thought did have talent. I felt bad in sort of a sympathy-by-proxy way. Because if I had been the female part of the artist couple, I wouldn't want my work appreciated while my husband's work was not appreciated.

Once in a really bad time in my life, I had a female friend who I would sometimes get together with after classes or work. Usually when we would meet, Stan was still at work, so I would leave messages for him to go meet us at such and such place after he got home. Well, for some reason, this rubbed my "friend" wrong. I guess she wanted just girl time. Because her husband was always too busy either working or smoking pot or doing whatever so that he couldn't be bothered to join us at a local bar, I guess that meant Stan shouldn't either, even though at the time, Stan liked to join us, and I wanted him to join us too. She was a freak...I couldn't tell whether she hated Stan or wanted to have sex with him...she was just that messed up. But I didn't understand her unwillingness to have Stan take part. And what's with that "girl time"? I'm sorry, but I am soooo alienated from the culture where men had their poker nights and their wives got together to play bridge, or the men went to a ball game and the women went shopping. My culture is doing things together with your partner, and you marry someone you share interests with, not because you need a trophy or a provider. And for that "friend" to not want Stan to come with us, well, that was too bad. We're a package deal, socially. We have separate bodies, we have separate jobs, but when it comes to the social sphere, if you don't like one of us, you don't like both of us. If you're not interested in what one of us has to say, then you shouldn't be interested in what the other has to say either.

Posted by Ann on 05/24/06@10:14 AM CST ..::Link::..4 Screamers.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Stinky Ego Emissions

Yesterday Stan and I were driving to Shopko (on Shopko Drive...seriously...there is a Shopko Drive in Madison) to see if I could find any new frames for my new prescription (I did, BTW...w/Pink Rhinestones or CZs even.). As we were nearing the entry to the parking lot, a little importy speedy sporty car whips around us and pulls into the parking lot ahead of us. Oooh, we were going Soooooo slow and we were such a hindrance to their immediacy to Shopko. Obviously, they weren't driving one of the newer VWs that claim in their latest commercials advertising a new unpresumptuous VW, "Lowest Ego Emissions". So we pull in to the parking lot and I watch the driver emerge, expecting to see some young arrogant asshole. WRONG! It was an old guy, sort of crumpled over, skinny, grey hair, near my dad's age. Well, maybe a little younger. Quite a shock. In the VW ad, people are speaking their "ego emissions" with megaphones, such sayings like "Because I make more money than you...because I make more money than you...," and "Because I'm compensating for my shortcomings...because I'm compensating for my shortcomings...". But they forgot one. If I were producing the ad, I'd definitely have one of the ego emissions say: "Because I still think I'm in high school...because I still think I'm in high school..."

Posted by Ann on 05/23/06@11:58 AM CST ..::Link::..7 Screamers.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Sister Ray meets Uncle Larry

So as I was working on my ebay listings today, waiting for things to process and load, I decided to go to youtube to fill in the gaps between load time and hunt down some videes...Pink Floyd, Roxy Music, you know the score, ok, so I decided to look up The Velvet Underground. And lookie what I found: But where is Lou?

Snort.

Now *THAT* is a sync!

Posted by Ann on 05/22/06@02:11 PM CST ..::Link::..2 Screamers.

DREAM in a large city with plastic fork

Kind of a hard dream to expain. I was in the company of some guy that I don't know, I think. He looked Asian, and from the looks I certainly didn't know him, yet at the same time he gave sort of an indication that it was &@#d*. So I have no clue. Anyway, we were supposedly in downtown Chicago or Denver, but it looked more like Madison near State Street....sort of where the Overturd Center is. Except it was a larger area, like a larger city. I have this large city reocurring dream motif where I'm walking down streets looking for some place I'm supposed to meet people, and the streets are turning into odd railway yards, and the buildings turning into train cars, and the atmosphere is very circusy. I think this guy and I were supposed to meet Stan at some Asian restaurant. We kept walking and walking and I was afraid we'd never find where we were supposed to go, but we finally did, and Stan was there. We had black plastic utensils that were very wide, yet made of very thin plastic. I started to pull a tab across the seam on the fork, like to open it, instead I tear all the way around the edge of the fork which splits the fork in two, leaving me with two paper thin fork shapes, useless. Stan and I laughed at that, but the Asian guy/former friend/whoever he was didn't find it amusing.

I think I also had a dream about the house we lived in on Grant Street, but I can't remember what happened.

Posted by Ann on 05/22/06@11:01 AM CST ..::Link::..3 Screamers.
By Ann @ 10:23 AM CST:05:27:06 ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

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