ornamental

ILLNESS

Saturday, April 22, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (The Good, section 3: Sights and Sounds part 3: Voice)

For me, there is a voice, and there has always been a voice for as long as I can remember. Mostly the situation is one where I can ask the voice for their opinion and receive advice. Perhaps these kinds of experienced are part of my own inner dialogue and are only part of my minds own conversations with itself.

Some are conversations clearly born in the imagination like the ones I would have with Jesus starting when I was 12 and playmate who I began to talk to when I was 14. She is a Platonic friend and companion and her name is Sharleen. Later in life other more complex experiences have grown out these kinds of things, and hearing the voices of invisible beings I believe are some kind of auditory visions.

There is a primary invisible being who seems to exist only as a voice, and has a name I'm unable to pronounce. The name "Sharleen" has been applied to them too, and this name, Sharleen also sounds similar to the word "shoreline". My reoccurring image in a visionary state is a sandy shoreline with water on the left and land to the right. The sky and atmosphere are featureless and sky color may range from blue tones into black. The most unique attribute of this place is that in all directions it is without a horizon line. I believe this shoreline is a place in consciousness deeper than dreams and for most of my life a very infrequently visited place. I am unable to say with certain judgment, but I believe the origin of the voice from the invisible being comes from this sandy shoreline.

Posted by Stan on 04/22/06@09:08 PM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

DREAMS a Couple Nights Ago

Stan and I had found a large spider (about two inches across, thick legs) in some plants. Stan took care of it, probably putting it outside. Then later, I was holding a potted hanging plant. There were some holes in the pot towards the top for aeration or something. Through these holes, I could feel crawling, like the limbs of spiders crawling through the soil. I then realized the pot was teaming with these large 2-inch spiders and I freaked out, waking myself out of the dream. As I started to become conscious and even after I was fully awake, I was still freaked out over the sensation of the spider-infested pot. I'm not normally one to freak over insects, in fact I'm much more tolerant of them than most people, especially women. But this was just too creepy of a sensation.

Later that same night I dreamt I was in either St. Louis or Kansas City (IRL I've never been in St. Louis, and was only in Kansas City for a night and never got a "feel" for the city or anything)--I have no idea why I was in one of those cities. I think I was alone, staying in a hotel. Early in the morning, I set out to either find a job or do errands or something. I was walking around around this very old but yuppified area of town that didn't seem real. The streets were lined with cobblestone, and the whole area seemed like it was enclosed inside a large building itself, like the "Streets of Old Milwaukee" area in the Milwaukee Museum. I remember going into boutiquey stores and seeing lots of red carpeting. I was in some apartment building with red carpet with lots of cat hair on it. There were people in the apartment, presumably they lived there. I have no idea who they were. I was sitting on a couch and some guy was putting his head on my shoulder, not in a sexual way, but in a friendship way. It made me feel good, in a friendly way, but I don't know why.

Posted by Ann on 04/22/06@09:45 AM CST ..::Link::..2 Screamers.

Exquisite Corpses: All Inclusive

These are thumbnails of my recent contributions to An Exquisite Corpse. To view the full-size versions of these panels, Go Here

CORPSE0395-01a.jpg CORPSE0390-02a.jpg CORPSE0370-03a.jpg CORPSE0355.jpg
CORPSE0353-03a.jpg CORPSE0348.jpg CORPSE0344-03a.jpg CORPSE0336-03a.jpg
CORPSE0332-02a.jpg CORPSE0331.jpg CORPSE0330-02a.jpg CORPSE0320-03a.jpg

More...

Posted by Ann on 04/20/06@03:39 PM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

Monday, April 17, 2006

I Beg to Differ!!!!

The 100 unsexiest men in the world

How on EARTH can Jerry Seinfeld even be on the list, let alone #17 beating out the biggest blowhard on the face of the planet, Rush Limbaugh at #42? Brad Pitt at #100?!? Yes, he did look better with long hair, but still...OK, did straight guys compile this list or something? Me senses a bit of jealousy...

I do agree Gilbert Gottfried is the epitome of unsexy @ #1, but beating out M*chael J*ckson @ #11? WTF? Let me rephrase this...Gilbert Gottfried is pretty much the epitome of unsexy MEN. MJ is the epitome of unsexy including everything that was spawned on this earth.

Sometimes, Jerry, I just don't know...

Posted by Ann on 04/17/06@08:27 PM CST ..::Link::..16 Screamers.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (The Good, section 3: Sights and Sounds part 2: Death Camp)

There was a dream or vision like condition that troubled me for about a year when I was around 7 - 8 years old. I was able to avoid these images and the confusing feelings they carried if I could avoid becoming constipated. The dream like condition produced its apparitions from the pain of alleviating constipation, and fortunately I could learn to avoid these circumstances simply by avoiding becoming constipated.

The imagery I saw from the pain were people walking around inside of a Nazi prison camp. There were solders, prisoners and bodies both living and dead lying on the dirty earth. These images were disturbing and so were the feelings I had about being there. The most troubling feelings I had about these experiences were because of my inability to understand my own identity in the dream context.

When I returned from these dreams I was unable to remember if I had been a prisoner or a solder, and if I had been a solder I could not see who's side I was on. I felt apprehension about these images because I could not know if I had been a victim, an oppressor or all together someone else in some other role. These experiences left me with a profound feeling of ambiguity surrounding my own place and identity within these images of conflict.

Posted by Stan on 04/16/06@07:39 PM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

You're Not Playing Fair

Yesterday I realized I have a Pug with a conscience. We went to a Pug Play Date and someone came with a puppy, maybe around 4 months old or so, "Ernie." Ernie was quite playful and loved chewing on and running around with and nipping at the older dogs. Of course the older dogs all had to show who was dominant, and at times some of them got just a tad too rough for such a youngster. Lucifer Sam would watch a group of two or three older dogs playfight with the pup, and if it sounded like they were getting too rough, he would bark at them. At home, when he's playing with Plato, this sense of justice also pervails. He'll share his bones with Plato, even giving them to him, as in "here, take this end". But if Plato steps over the line, maybe taking two bones for himself and not sharing either of them, Lucifer Sam starts yapping at him in a scolding manner as if he was saying, "you're not playing fair!" I didn't even know a dog could have such a sense of what is good or bad, not in a "if I eat gravel out of the planter I'll get scolded so I won't do it" sort of way, no, he still is a "bad dog" in regards to that. But he has his own sense of what is good or bad in terms of dog socialization.

Posted by Ann on 04/16/06@10:56 AM CST ..::Link::..12 Screamers.
By Stan @ 09:08 PM CST:04:22:06 ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

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