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06:08:2006 Entry: "Ann : Package Deal"

Package Deal

Once I was talking to a woman who was a mucketymuck in the local art scene. Somehow the topic got on a couple of artists who were married at the time. She was saying how she didn't think the male artist was a good artist, despite him having won awards, or maybe she thought that his works were derivative, blah blah blah, I forgot what it was she said, but she definitely didn't like his art. The female, however, she thought did have talent. I felt bad in sort of a sympathy-by-proxy way. Because if I had been the female part of the artist couple, I wouldn't want my work appreciated while my husband's work was not appreciated.

Once in a really bad time in my life, I had a female friend who I would sometimes get together with after classes or work. Usually when we would meet, Stan was still at work, so I would leave messages for him to go meet us at such and such place after he got home. Well, for some reason, this rubbed my "friend" wrong. I guess she wanted just girl time. Because her husband was always too busy either working or smoking pot or doing whatever so that he couldn't be bothered to join us at a local bar, I guess that meant Stan shouldn't either, even though at the time, Stan liked to join us, and I wanted him to join us too. She was a freak...I couldn't tell whether she hated Stan or wanted to have sex with him...she was just that messed up. But I didn't understand her unwillingness to have Stan take part. And what's with that "girl time"? I'm sorry, but I am soooo alienated from the culture where men had their poker nights and their wives got together to play bridge, or the men went to a ball game and the women went shopping. My culture is doing things together with your partner, and you marry someone you share interests with, not because you need a trophy or a provider. And for that "friend" to not want Stan to come with us, well, that was too bad. We're a package deal, socially. We have separate bodies, we have separate jobs, but when it comes to the social sphere, if you don't like one of us, you don't like both of us. If you're not interested in what one of us has to say, then you shouldn't be interested in what the other has to say either.

4 Comments

Ok, I'm green with envy on this package thing you have wink But yep, that's how it should be.

Posted by Nikolas @ 05:25:2006:06:36 AM CST

Don't mean to make anyone jealous, really I don't. But yeah, certain things, certain people, certain ideas are so much a part of one's life, that to deny those is to deny the person itself.

I've probably journalled about this numerous times, but I had a friend who was married w/a kid and there were some things in her life that just didn't make sense. Finally, she admitted to me that her husband had been arrested for somethng and was currently on probation, actually, for the rest of his life. The crime, IMHO, was something unforgivable. It wasn't drugs or theft or hell, even 2nd degree manslaughter. After I found out this "secret" and that she was willing to have a child by him and be so supportive of him, I just couldn't keep seeing them, or her. Not that we really clicked anyway...it's not that we argued, we just didn't have enough in common. And I felt like Stan and I were there for their amusement, like they'd be in town and having a row and then they'd drop by without calling first (rude!) because "Ann and Stan will cheer us up." Like we're a couple of circus clowns or something. Geez.

Posted by Ann @ 05:25:2006:09:56 AM CST

I just noticed the G**gle Ads at the top of this page are hilarious:

Hate Husband : Husband Lied : Husband Left : Husband Liar : Husband Lies.

Targeted advertising? I think not!

Posted by Ann @ 05:25:2006:12:56 PM CST

The package deal is great and I love spending time with you.

Posted by stanley @ 05:25:2006:08:07 PM CST

By Ann @ 11:22 AM CST:06:08:06 ..::Link::..

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