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04:16:2006 Entry: "Stan : 'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (The Good, section 3: Sights and Sounds part 2: Death Camp)"

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (The Good, section 3: Sights and Sounds part 2: Death Camp)

There was a dream or vision like condition that troubled me for about a year when I was around 7 - 8 years old. I was able to avoid these images and the confusing feelings they carried if I could avoid becoming constipated. The dream like condition produced its apparitions from the pain of alleviating constipation, and fortunately I could learn to avoid these circumstances simply by avoiding becoming constipated.

The imagery I saw from the pain were people walking around inside of a Nazi prison camp. There were solders, prisoners and bodies both living and dead lying on the dirty earth. These images were disturbing and so were the feelings I had about being there. The most troubling feelings I had about these experiences were because of my inability to understand my own identity in the dream context.

When I returned from these dreams I was unable to remember if I had been a prisoner or a solder, and if I had been a solder I could not see who's side I was on. I felt apprehension about these images because I could not know if I had been a victim, an oppressor or all together someone else in some other role. These experiences left me with a profound feeling of ambiguity surrounding my own place and identity within these images of conflict.

By Stan @ 07:39 PM CST:04:16:06 ..::Link::..

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April 2006



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